I am walking on a metaphorical sidewalk, swept along amongst a crowd of imaginary people bustling to get to wherever it is they’re going in life.
But I’m not like them. I don’t walk at the same pace.
I am aimless because I have no destination…. and also because I’m tired. Tired of purposely walking at an insane pace with no real purpose … call me crazy but it feels insane to me…!?!
So I stop; In the middle of the sidewalk. I stand, completely still.
Nobody notices. Nobody stops. Like ants with a tiny rock in their path, they detour around me swarming to the left, to the right. People coming the opposite way stare ahead with their determined stares… and I just stand there wanting to cry like a lost child in a shopping centre.
But that’s how life is; it waits for no one.
It pushes on like that man in a suit or that kid with a backpack or any of one the hundreds of faces that forms the blurring mass that passes me by.
I am not big enough to stop the tide. No one is. I am but one tiny rock in the path of an ant swarm.
I am one person standing still on a metaphorical sidewalk, amongst a crowd of imaginary people, desperately wishing time would stop – flicker momentarily, like a florescent bulb when it switched on - then…… wind backwards. People walking, people talking – backwards. Streams of strangers walking backward towards me, dissecting into two streams to my left, to my right. Backwards. Determined faces getting further away, replaced by other determined faces until the moment ….. I feel fingers interlock with mine. Someone takes my hand.
And I look up … and you are beside me once more, holding my hand.
It is all undone. You have not let go. You are still with me.
The sea of strangers fades from my awareness. I can see only you.
Life nowadays feels very much like a sea of strangers on a metaphorical sidewalk.
But it can never go backwards …
And as much as I wish standing still would let me see your face again – it won’t.
You walked on ahead of me a long time ago.
You are now just another imaginary stranger in the crowd, with a determined face and a purposeful, energetic walk.
I am the only one standing still.
– Ranata Suzuki